Breakup pain - Disruption, let go and how to move forward
Why are we so attached to another human being? The setting in an old love is not uncommon. Many have trouble letting go after a relationship has ended. Depression following the dissolution of a relationship is considered by mental health professionals as a normal part of grieving. However, for those going through it, the pain can seem unbearable, and monitoring behavior, embarrassing.
Release the person. Do not torture yourself by obsessing about him / her.
Spiritually, the closeness we feel serves for propelling us into a sense of unity that reminds us of our connection to the Divine. Sociologically, attachment keeps us together for the purpose of raising healthy babies and continue the species. Physiologically, a chemical reaction occurs when we meet and bond with a partner
But when a relationship is no longer flowing -. Or because one partner wants to leave or for any other reason - it's time to release. The magic of gracefully release can really bring your partner back. However, it does not work for him false. It should be truly free without expectations for the future. And it is much easier than to release to go through agony to hold after it's over.
Following are some guidelines for release when needed. They make it easier to let go and even speed up the process so you can be free to move on.
1.Allow yourself to cry and mourn without trial. Embrace the tears. Even receive them because they are healing. Do not fight your feelings of depression and sadness. Let them be, knowing that they will pass. Meanwhile, realize that the pain will not kill you. Leaving his grieving freely flow, you will recover faster.
2.Surrender to the day day-to-moment-to-moment and divine, especially during hard times. Stop trying to make something happen with your ex. Trust that you are destined to be together, eventually it will be. But for now, you must release. There is a magic in this. Each time you can deliver, putting his pain in the hands of God, you will be greeted by a good unexpected. I've seen it come in the form of a distraction, a visit from a close friend or an inspiring email that lifts your spirit. This will build your confidence. Understand that you are and will be taken care of, even in the midst of his sorrow. Pay attention to what appears to you every day in the form of support and love.
3. One of the best methods to stop obsessive thoughts about the other person is to focus on yourself and your own life. What can we look for in a lover is something that I think is missing in ourselves, so it makes sense that attention to the self is what can really fill that void. To turn your attention to yourself, you heal. Open the divine vision of himself as an accomplished, be sacred with an incredible life. Declaring that is the time you get into your own. Every time you slip into obsessed with his former partner, take steps to realize their potential. The goal to let go is to eventually be neutral about the other person.
That means you do not waste time thinking about it, either with nostalgia or bitterness. I wish you well, but was too busy with his own life to lose a lot of time on something that is already in the past.
4. When pain arises, hug him, but do not feed it. There is a bit of fun in the movie Broadcast News, where every morning, the television producer played by Holly Hunter spends a few minutes in his office closed cry your eyes out. Then she leaves out the Kleenex and gets your day. This is not a bad approach to the release of sadness.
Yes, you must embrace and allow the pain, but there are times when you should put it on the backburner and get on with life (as in your job). In addition, you do not want to become a drama queen (or king), where you allow your life to become an unrequited tragedy, doomed love. There are very loving and living waiting for you. Notes of ways in which you feed your pain.
Practice what calls "observing ego" and spirituality calls the psychology "witness consciousness". This is simply realize that you are allowing the mushroom pain. Realizing this, you dis-identify with it and actually make a "break" with him. You can not both be aware of your pain, and let it take you over at the same time. The book Eckhardt Tolle The Power of Now detailing ways of hunger their "pain body" out of existence. The act of simply realize that you are wallowing in your pain will help you transcend it and move on.
Notice when you think of the person or their pain and how often. This alone will begin to dissolve the model. Tell yourself: "I'm thinking of him again." Watch yourself do it as if you suddenly realize that you are sitting in a movie instead of being completely caught up in the movie. You will notice that the pain goes away, in fact, as you dis-identify with it.
How dissolves pain, take a moment to feel the breath of life that animates your being. Feel your body deeply. This puts you in touch with the Divine, with your higher self.
Become aware of the present moment. Look around to see what's going on around you and find something to be grateful, even if it is simply the gift of being alive.
Start understanding that are not your thoughts, and you can instantly pull out thoughts multiplication or negative pain. As you master this practice, you are living in the present and let your past in the past.
5. Forgive so you can be free. If you blame your ex-partner or other person to "dismantle" their relationship, hangs over the bitterness will not serve you. If you feel a victim, remember that you chose to stay in the relationship, ignoring the warning signs that were invariably there. Now it's time to move on, and that's good. Be glad you have finally seen the truth and can be opened to something better.And do not bother taking anything personally. Refrain from thinking that there is something wrong with you.
6. Take the road as a way to practice self-love. Do not name call. Do not scream. Do not act childishly. Do not be stingy. If you are a parent, do not put your children in the middle of small excavations or go into a custody battle, unless your kids are really in danger. You may think vengeful thoughts, but do not act on them. You will respect yourself more to be above this behavior "small."
7. Make a formal launch of its partner. It is not necessary to do it face to face or by phone. Write a letter that you do not send or perform a ritual, freeing it to your highest good. Imagine that ties between the two of you - between your hearts between their sexual organs from their minds, among the souls - being cut. Then say goodbye aloud and in your heart. This can be extremely painful, but you will feel much lighter afterwards.
8. Do not let your heart close. There is no such thing as a broken heart, one that is opening wider. A heart in pain is simply feel love and loss fully. This means that it is up to you to embrace your grief and remain open to love the way it appears in your life. A heart that remains open faster healing.
Time does not help. So do not meet someone new or cutting all contact with your ex. But it is also true that seeing his former partner regularly (if, for example, you work together) forces you to do deeper internal expansion. If you ever been in love before and got over it, you know you can do it again, even if that love has seemed to be the greatest love you'll ever meet.
